The Ultimate Death Note Story
by sister socrates
Summary: My brother's stupid, cracky story. It contains bad seventies music, the Power Rangers, Chuck Norris, and using the Death Note for bizarre deeds. I don't get it, either.


_**A/N: **Gahh, this story is MMH's (my brother's). He was dead-set on disturbing me in the car, and it worked. I just typed it, so you could flame him. Because, frankly, this deserves some flaming. XD_

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Death Note_ or Chuck Norris or the Power Rangers... or _Macho Man_, for that matter.

**Warning: **HOLY CRAP! It's... cracky, folks. Really. It's weird. And shockingly, it isn't yaoi... even if it sounds that way... XD

* * *

Once upon a time, Light Yagami was taking a shower. Since there was no one at home (seemingly), he was singing the song _Macho Man_ by The Village People very, very loudly.

"MACHO, MACHO MAN! I JUST WANNA BE A MACHO MAN!"

Light-o was busy getting clean and singing badly, and all was well. Until L decided that he needed to use the "water closet".

"Time to take a pee," the detective announced to nobody in particular. He then proceeded to sit on the toilet in a normal L-stance, and cracked open a newspaper.

Thinking that the bad seventies music and water sounds were all in his head, Ryuzaki saw nothing weird about the situation. He was just mumbling, "I'm sitting like an idiot... and holding the newspaper like an idiot..." when Light got out of the shower.

Light shouted something obscene, then tripped and knocked himself unconscious on the tile floor. L looked up from his newspaper momentarily, then went back to reading like nothing had happened.

Out of the blue, Misa Amane invaded the bathroom, via a random window. She dragged the naked-and-unconscious Light down the sidewalk, not really noticing that he was bleeding profusely from the face.

"I must save Light!" L exclaimed, suddenly standing. Pressing a button on his watch and transforming into the blue Power Ranger, he added, "GO-GO POWER RANGERS!"

Then he leapt out the window and ran down the street after Misa and Light.

Ryuzaki roundhouse kicked Misa in the face, knocking her unconscious this time. Light, who had been awoken by the many injuries to his face, was sitting on the sidewalk in the nude.

L suggested that he steal Misa's dress. So he did. And they left her naked on the street.

Upon running to the house, L hit another button on his watch and transformed back into his usual self. He resumed using the bathroom.

Light, however, walked into the other room looking for clothes. Upon opening the closet door, he had the epiphany that it was not his bedroom, but L's. L's closet could be identified by the huge Chuck Norris shrine that resided there.

The detective strolled into his room from the washroom, shocked that Light had discovered the secret shrine. So, he turned back into the blue Power Ranger, in preparation to kill him. However, Light hit a button on _his _watch, and turned into the pink Power Ranger.

The two began kicking the snot out of each other, until Chuck Norris flew into the room. He hit a button on the watch he was wearing as well, and became the black Power Ranger.

This sudden occurrence lead Light-o to pull out his Death Note and write down Chuck Norris in it. It would seem that Chuck Norris would kill the Death Note, instead of vice-versa, but this was not the case.

Mister Norris did everything in his possible power to destroy the note, but nothing worked. And he died of cardiac arrest on the spot.

It was then that L seized the Death Note, and wrote down the name Light Yagami. Somehow, Light managed to fall over in the bathtub, dead.

Transforming back into regular-Ryuzaki once more, our favourite detective then decided to watch television. _Deal Or No Deal _was on.

In some strange fit of rage, L took the Death Note once more, and wrote _Howie Mandel _on a page. Suddenly, on the screen, Howie fell down in death. Ryuzaki changed the channel to CNN.

"Guess I'll just kick back and watch the news," he mumbled, stretching out.

Later that day, L went outside to get the late edition of the newspaper. The headline read, _Local Lunatic Kidnaps Naked Man._

**The End.**


End file.
